My Super Nintendo for the last few years has been a lot like other Super Nintendos, neglected, forgotten, abandoned, scarred. It’s cords all wrapped up and put into a box and out of sight where I wouldn’t have to look at it. But I have rekindled the old passion, that old romance that was so fiery and obsessive in my youth between my SNES and I. While the spark will never burn as bright as when I was eight (I just don’t have the room in my schedule to play Mario Kart for 11 straight hours anymore), I’m glad to have the game back in my life. Because after the SNES and I split for good that one time, I went along and saw other game systems for a few years, and had some fun, but nothing was ever like what I had with my Super Nintendo.
Somewhere in the back of my head, I regretted how I treated my Super Nintendo. I put it in a box and sent it away, no explanation or anything, I had to dig it up for closure. I didn’t find closure though, instead I found Donkey Kong, Super Mario World, Earthworm Jim, Zelda, The Lion King, Earthbound, Harley’s Humongous Adventure, and one controller. Suddenly I was in love with my Super Nintendo once again. Once again I was in a world of video games where the goal wasn’t to beat a hooker to death and steal her money but rather to collect gold coins on the back of a dinosaur and fight giant turtles that had spikes on their shells and wore punk bracelets. Where the only goal in one’s life is to quote unquote “stay out of the lava”.
Mario Kart taught me everything I need to know about life. That lesson is if you don't come in first, you might as well be that mushroom guy or that turtle guy at the end of the pack. Old video games are full of great lessons, a few of which I would like to share.
-If there is a banana shortage in the world, don't blame the monkeys, it was probably crocodiles dressed as pirates
-The only thing saving us from being destroyed by evil forces is three yellow triangles
-Jump on the back of a turtle and he'll hide in his shell; then you can pretty much do whatever you want to it
-There are a lot of people in this world who look like 'goombas'
-Earthbound is still the greatest video game ever created
For now, I'll just sit around and play a little Super Nintendo here and there. Who knows, maybe I'll give that old whore Sega a call one of these days, see what it's been up to, see if Sonic is still hanging around.
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