It’s not my style to bash something that has been so good to me, but today I want to address a few things regarding food. Food is awesome, and I love to eat, but having said that, there are certain food items that I got a problem with…. A BIG problem with.
First let’s start off with lunchmeat. I love lunchmeat and I always have at least two packages in the refrigerator. But the name brand lunchmeat companies offer a so-called ‘deli style’ to their lunchmeat. Basically what this means is thin slices. I’m all for the thin slices, in fact, I implore them to pursue making lunchmeat as thin as possible. What I take issue with is how it’s packaged. They toss it all haphazardly into the container, I guess to give it some kind of a ‘deli feel’ to it. I don’t need a deli feel to it though, what I need is full pieces of lunchmeat that won’t tear into a million pieces because it’s tangled and intertwined with every other slice. And what angers me the most is that the machine that makes it probably initially makes the lunchmeat in a stack, and then (through robot or human) they mess it all up to look ‘deli authentic’. I’m gonna eat it right out of the package with the refrigerator door open, you don’t have to get all fancy for me.
Next, Life cereal. It get’s way too soggy way too fast, and that’s all I have to say about that.
Third, the Styrofoam ramen noodle cups specifically tell you not to microwave them. Instead it tells you to heat water separately in another container and pour it into the cup and let it sit. Excuse me, but isn’t the whole purpose of me buying ramen in a Styrofoam cup suggest that maybe when I plan to eat it I will not have a separate container available (hence the Styrofoam container???) By the way ramen noddle companies, I microwave your cups all the time, gonna call the ramen police on me? Those instructions are as crazy as asking for a take out box at a restaurant and having them bring it to you and say “OK, but you have to take the food home on a regular plate and then put the food into the Styrofoam container when you arrive at your house…very important.” On the subject of ramen noodles in the Styrofoam cup, get rid of the peas and the corn, I can’t think of a single person who looks at that and goes “Peas and Corn, YES!!!! That’s what I’m talking about!”
This next concern is kind of related to food. It’s regarding the popcorn button on the microwave. Who uses that? Get rid of it, it’s useless. In fact, I think it’s dangerous. Whose ever used the popcorn button and not almost burned their house down? The popcorn button always ensures you get a bag of unpopped kernels or a bag of charred blackened death. There’s a reason why the bag says “Stay and Listen” it’s an unperfected science at the current moment, but I do dream of the day when we can get the right time it takes to pop a standard bag of popcorn.
For any coffee drinkers out there, just thought you’d like to know Maxwell House sucks.
Also, I can’t believe they still sell macaroni and cheese with the powdered cheese. How can we move forward as a world if we’re still subjecting our kids to powdered cheese? Really, how much more does the deluxe cost? Give the kids a frickin’ break. Other cheese concerns of mine are regarding cheetos, cheese puffs, cheese balls, etc. How is it that we have time to shoot electrons at each other in high tech labs, but we can’t find a way of adding cheddar flavor to these snacks without having to give it an orange dust that will literally stain everything it touches?
I would continue berating the foibles of food, but I am starving now, and must go and stuff my face.
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